The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Hollywood Actors Threaten To Disfigure Their Gorgeous Faces If Contract Not Reached [1027d]
• Secret Service Closes White House Cocaine Probe Without Suspect [1027d]
• Disney Cracks Down On Copyright Infringement For People Picturing Mickey Mouse While Masturbating [1027d]
• Study: More Americans Moving To Sun Belt To Get Head Start On Living In Scorched Hellscape [1027d]
• Studios Say Actors Overreacting To Proposal To Have Limbs Manipulated By Cords Hooked Through Flesh [1027d]
• Tips For Going Through A Divorce [1027d]
• This Week's Most Viral News: July 14, 2023 [1027d]
• 4-Second Jumbotron Appearance Longest Anyone Will Ever Pay Attention To Area Man In Entire Life [1027d]
• Grandma Scuttles Into Corner After Shadow Of Enormous Grandson Cast Across Room [1027d]
• Twitter Users Explain Why They’re Moving To Threads [1027d]
• Chuck Schumer Calls For Investigation Into Logan Paul Energy Drink [1027d]
• Woman Figures It Easier To Just Get New One After Forgetting Boyfriend In Uber [1027d]
• Report: Majority Of Bodies Donated To Science Dressed Up Like Clowns, Shot Out Of Cannons For Fun [1027d]
• Mark Zuckerberg Acquires ‘Matrix’ Outfit He Too Shy To Wear To Work [1027d]
• Biden Lowers Skin Halfway To Observe National Day Of Molting [1027d]